I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

[stiles]

Ava is the best thing. His eyes flicker over to the bassinet at just the mention of her name. He’s still terrified of the test being positive, but at some point in the last hour, he started thinking beyond that fear. He had been terrified when she told him she was pregnant the first time, and then he held their daughter in his arms, and he felt even more terrified for completely different reasons. Ava is the best thing they’ve ever done. He loves the soft warmth of her when she rests in his arms or against his chest. Sometimes, his arms ache at the thought when he’s at work and can’t immediately scoop her up. He loves the way she presses her hand against Malia’s breast when she nurses in a tiny star shape. And he loves the way she gets so defiant sometimes, mad at the world because they took her out of the bathtub or had the audacity to change her diaper. He loves the way she sometimes wears an expression that’s the spitting image of Malia.

So if the worst thing to come of all of this is another baby, is it really the worst thing?

Malia’s questions spill from her mouth one after the other, so Stiles latches onto the most important one. “Mal, c’mon,” he says as he reaches for her hand pressed against his chest, lacing their fingers together. “You’re an incredible mom. You’re the best mom.” She opens her mouth to protest, and he shakes his head. “You are. I’m serious. I love watching you be Ava’s mom.”

She’s quiet then as her eyes become glassy. She starts to worry her bottom lip again, and he finds himself compelled to keep talking, trying to lessen her anxiety even while his own is still so high. “And it’s not like you’re gonna do it alone. At least this time, I’m trying to make an honest woman out of you.” He raises their clasped hands and her engagement ring catches the light. “Maybe we’ll get that shotgun wedding after all.”

His humor is lost on her as she bites down harder on her bottom lip. Stiles sighs as he looks around the room, her last question ringing in his head. They would outgrow this house faster with another baby on the way. With Ava, it felt like the perfect size, but already, he had watched the way the loft seemed to shrink as Olive became a toddler. Soon, Ava would have stuff everywhere, filling her room and the living room. If this baby was a girl, they could share a room, but for how long? And what if the baby was a boy? “Ava has to move to her own room at some point,” he says. “We’d just make sure we did it before the next one comes. And then the baby would sleep in here with us for a while. And after that… I don’t know. We’d figure it out.”

He feels like he’s saying we’ll figure it out to her more than he’s giving her any real answers tonight. It doesn’t feel great. Especially when she lowers her head again with a sigh, and Stiles can feel the way her heart races against his own chest. But he can’t offer her better answers right now. “You’re really hot when you’re pregnant,” he says, resorting to humor when his brain can’t think of anything else. Again, her head comes up, and again, she shoots him a little. “What? Am I not allowed to say that you’re hot?”

[malia]

She’s not a big one for displays of emotion. It’s not that she doesn’t have emotions, and have them deeply, it had just always been easier to be guarded. Unless it’s around him. And this moment is no exception. Just hearing the way he talks about her and the appreciation he has for her as a mom to their baby, and the sincerity of those words. It’s not lost on her, and she can’t help the way that tears fill her eyes, just barely threatening to spill from her eyelids if she’s not careful. She doesn’t understand his joke, but she smiles anyways just at the proudness he wears on his face for a joke that he clearly thought was hilarious.

She catches the glimmer of the ring on her finger, something that has already become as natural to her body as toes or fingers. She wouldn’t be alone. Never again. And neither would he. And no matter what happened, they would figure it out together. Even the space issue. Like he said…we’ll figure it out

But the anxiety is still there, and his alarm is still ticking away, and she sighs as she rests her head back against his chest. It was a lot easier to say all of these things when they weren’t trying to take care of two babies.

His next words catch her off guard. She knew that their sex had been incredible when she was pregnant. But she hasn’t looked at her huge, pregnant body and thought that it was hot. And hearing him say that now makes her heart skip a beat a little, even if she does offer him a glare for making light of the situation before she leans in to steal a soft kiss. Her hand moves up his chest and she lingers there against his lips. “You’re pretty hot when I’m pregnant too.”

Two could play at that game.

But before he can say anything else, the alarm on his phone startles them out of the moment. She feels like her heart drops into her stomach as she pulls back to look at him. It was no or never.

“Let’s look together.”

[stiles]

Stiles laughs at her words. It feels impossible to laugh, with the numbers on his phone nearing zero and their fate sitting in the next room, but he laughs at the absurdity of what she says. There’s probably something to be said for the newness of their relationship when she got pregnant. But he also knows that he loved watching her body change. Loved knowing it was because she was carrying his baby. He didn’t think that necessarily made him hotter, but he knows better than to argue with her.

And even if he wanted to, the alarm on his phone blares at just that moment.

They both jump at the sound. His hand shoots for his phone, not wanting to wake the baby, and it’s his fingers that shake now as he turns off the alarm. That same rush of panic that he felt when she listed out her symptoms back at his dad’s knots in the pit of his stomach now. Malia’s eyes are wide when she picks up her head again, her face pale. Stiles wants to say something profound in that moment, but all his brain can think to say is We’ll figure it out. Again. So he’s grateful when she speaks first.

“Yeah. Sure,” he says with a nod. He wants until she pulls her body off of his, and then he gets to his feet, following her across the room. By the time he crosses the threshold, he’s sure that she can hear his heart pounding in her own head, but he can’t help it. His mouth feels dry as she reaches for the test. His fingers dig a little too hard into her hip when he wraps an arm around her waist. But he doesn’t even realize it as she lifts the test into the light where a single pink line fills the circle.

“It’s negative,” he breathes. His heart races faster in relief even as that tightness leaves his chest. “Oh thank fuck,” he groans as he rests his forehead against her shoulder. She’s not pregnant. There won’t be another baby now, long before they’re ready. And as sure as he had been that they would find a way to manage, he can’t deny how relieved he feels in this moment.

He presses a kiss to her shoulder before he lifts his head again. She lets out a choked kind of laugh as she stares at the test in her hand still, almost like her brain is still processing it. Gently, he takes the test from her, twisting it in the light to make sure there’s no hint of a second line, no possible missed sign that it’s just early and barely registering as positive. But there’s only the control line, nothing else. With his hand on her hip, he turns her gently to face him, seeing his relief mirrored on her face. She’s still pale, and he can feel the way she shakes, but at least she’s stopped biting her bottom lip. “Want to take one more? Just to be sure?”

[malia]

They do it exactly like she said, together. He wraps his arm around her waist and she rests her hands against the counter and he picks up the test and at the same time…they see that result.

Negative.

No baby. No unexpected pregnancy. Nothing. There’s a mixture of feelings going through her mind and her gut as she looks at the result. Relief, a lightness, the feeling like she can breathe again. But somewhere, deep inside, there might just be a teeny-tiny pang of what-if? What that baby might have been like. Would it have been a girl or a boy. What it would feel like to be pregnant again. But none of that registers on her face. Only the relief.
And Stiles must feel the same way. She laughs lightly as he rests his head on her shoulders, cursing with his relief. He’d done such a good job of holding it together for both of them, maybe she hadn’t let herself realize how scared he actually might be. Maybe that was for the best.

She lets him turn her in his arms after checking the test one more time and she rests her hands there on his chest. She can feel the way his heart races, a rhythmic beat, beat, beat against her hands. “I think I should,” She says when he asks if she wants to take another. She’d taken two the first time, both positive. How awful would it be to get a false negative and then realize a couple months later that she’s been pregnant all along? She leans in to press a kiss to his lips before picking up a second test. She hands him the instructions so he can guide her through what she needs to do. She uses the same cup, still half full, and a new test, and five minutes later they have another period of waiting. 15 minutes this time.

It’s in that moment that her stomach decides to growl. She had barely eaten her dinner, and Ava had been eating nonstop. She realizes that she’s really hungry. “Let’s get some food while we’re waiting.” This time seems a little less heavy, a little less dread filling her chest. She wasn’t sure what the likelihood was that the first test could have been wrong, but it doesn’t seem very high.

[stiles]

His sense of relief increases when she says she thinks she should take another test. Already, he feels like he can breathe easier, but a second negative will surely keep him from finding himself awake in the middle of the night, panicking over where they would put a second baby in their tiny house. So he takes the directions from her when she opens the second box and reads them to her again. There’s a sense of calm to her now as she dips the second test and then silently mouths her countdown. Her hand doesn’t shake so hard he thinks he might have to cap the test for her. And there’s a soft smile on her lips when she leans in to kiss him after she sets it down. She seems far more like his Malia again, and he feels doubly grateful for that negative test.

It’s the growl of her stomach that ends the moment. It’s loud enough for Stiles to hear when her body is pressed against his, and he laughs. “God, yes,” he agrees as she pulls away and he follows her back out of the bathroom. “I’m starving.”

He realizes it as he says it. His panic has faded enough for him to feel just how hungry he is after not having eaten in hours. It’s also on the tip of his tongue to say again that she really needs to eat something when it dawns on him that she’s not pregnant. The realization hits him strongly enough that he pauses in the threshold of the kitchen while Malia continues on to the fridge. At some point in the last couple hours, his mind had just decided that she was pregnant. It had been a subconscious thought in the back of his mind when he had given Ava the bottle, and when he had laid with her in his arms, and even still now, when she finally agreed to eat something. Now, even after just those few hours, it already feels weird to force his brain to think she’s not pregnant.

Stiles physically shakes the idea from his head as he finally steps into the kitchen. Malia has been oblivious to his freezing in the doorway. She’s been too busy retrieving leftover pizza from the fridge, settling onto a stool at the island as she eats it cold right from the plate they had stored it on. Stiles takes up a spot on the opposite side of the island from her as he reaches for a slice. “I’m glad you told me,” he tells her around a mouthful of cold pizza. It’s another thought that’s been on his mind since she had pulled him into the bathroom at his dad’s. One that his anxiety had kept him from voicing back when he should have. “I can’t believe you did this alone last time.”

[malia]

She doesn’t think cold pizza has ever tasted as good as it does in that moment. All pizza is good, hot pizza, warm pizza, medium pizza, and cold pizza. But for some reason, she thinks this cold pizza might be the best she’s ever tasted. Maybe it’s because she’s not pregnant when she’s eating it. She slides the plate towards him as he sits across from her, making it easier for him to reach for his own slice. They’d barely eaten anything at dinner even though the food that Melissa and Noah had prepared had smelled and looked delicious. Neither of them had been in a place where they could eat more than a few bites.

She hears his words and thinks back to that first time. Things had been…different then. She hadn’t been here very long. She hadn’t even been sure that he’d really wanted to be with her, not like she had wanted to be with him. And she sure as well wasn’t sure that he wanted her to stick around. So the baby, it could have sent them on two very different paths. Either, he was angry and asked her to leave…which she’d never really been afraid of. Or it would bring them together, and it had. There was a reason she hadn’t told him that first time…it was because she wasn’t sure what to do herself.

But there is no doubt in her mind now, and there never would be again. No matter what they faced in the future, babies, jobs, deaths, moves, whatever it was…they would face it together. The ring on her finger was proof of that, not that she needed the ring to know.

“I wasn’t sure,” she admits honestly. “And I didn’t want to upset you if there was no reason to be upset.”

It was honest. If the test had come back negative, there wouldn’t even have really been a reason to tell him she’d taken one. Things would have been different. And maybe their path would have ended up in the same place, but it would have taken a different route to get there. But Ava was here, and they were a family now, and she has never been happier in her life. “I didn’t realize it would end up being one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

[stiles]

It’s hard for him to remember what that felt like. It feels impossible that there was a time when he felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack any time he thought about defining what they were to each other. Now, he has to fight the urge to catch her hand every time the light catches the diamond in her ring, to hold it steady for a moment just to stare at his ring on her hand. But things had been different then. She had been his temporary roommate who slept in his bed. It had felt like their expiration date was looming just out of sight. Like he would wake up one morning, and she would just be gone again.

And then, there had been that positive pregnancy test.

“It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he tells her honestly. He leans his elbows on the counter so that he’s at the same eye level. “You and Ava.”

Malia’s eyes immediately drop to the plate between them. She busies her hands reaching for another piece of pizza, still unable to shed the girl who never liked to wear her emotions on her sleeve. Which is also what makes tonight feel so different. She had been more than willing to be vulnerable with him, spilling her fears and her worries over the results of the test. With Ava, she had been stoic when he had gotten home from work. She had known what she wanted, and she had told him with so little emotion while he had disappeared into their bedroom to have a panic attack in peace. It makes his heart break for Malia of a year ago.

“I wouldn’t have been upset,” he says now because he feels like he has to. That makes her lift her gaze again, shooting him a look. “I wasn’t upset tonight,” he argues. “I was terrified about having another baby when we just had a baby, but I wasn’t upset. I would never be upset about having a baby with you.”

It’s the truth. The timing was terrible, and neither of them would be ready, and he’d mourn a little for everything he’d feel like they couldn’t give Ava if she became a big sister before she could even walk, but he knew what it was like to have Ava now. So no matter the timing or how prepared he felt, he couldn’t possibly be upset about the opportunity to experience that again. In fact, he’s certain he does/i] want to experience it again. With her.

“Do you want another baby?” he asks her. And then, before she can respond, he amends, “Not now. But someday. Do you want more kids?”

[malia]

She can’t help it when she looks away from his gaze when he tells her that she and Ava are the best things that have ever happened to him. It’s not because she doesn’t want to hear those things, she very much does, or that she doesn’t believe him, also very much does. It’s just that it kind of makes her feel like she might want to cry from happiness and relief and love and because she so much feels the same way. And there’s still that part of her that doesn’t like anyone to see her cry, not even him. Crying made her feel weak. And she hated to feel weak.

It’s when he promises her that he wouldn’t have been upset that she lifts her gaze again. There’s some relief there. She loves him. One of the things she hates more than anything else in the world os upsetting him, or seeing him upset, or seeing somebody else upset him. It’s a relief to know that his feelings pretty much mirror her own. “That’s how I feel too,” she tells him as she reaches for his hand. She takes a bite of the pizza she’s holding with the other, keeping her eyes glued to his.

She’s not expecting his next question, but she also doesn’t hesitate to answer it. She knows what she wants. She’s known what she wanted for a long time. Since she realized he was her anchor and her mate and her home and her encourager and her protector, even when she felt like she didn’t need one. “Yeah,” She nods. She furrows her brow, thinking about it for a moment. Ava was still a baby. She wasn’t sure what it was like to be a parent to an older child. Would she like it as much as she did being Ava’s mom? She thinks she will. She loves Ava fiercely, and she knows that won’t change the older she gets. In fact, it just seems to get stronger every single day. “I think I want a lot.”

They had never really had this conversation, not blatantly. Just those off the cuff comments when they’re admiring the baby, or in the emotions of her birth. She thinks he knows his answer, but she asks anyways. “Do you?’

[stiles]

After he asks the question, it dawns on Stiles that this is the kind of conversation they should’ve had before getting engaged. Just like he should’ve taken her on a date before getting her pregnant. And they should’ve talked about living together before she just kind of settled in and then never left. But nothing about their relationship has been traditional in any sense of the word.

Still, it doesn’t stop him from wanting traditional things with her. He knows she would have been satisfied to call herself his mate forever as a sign of their commitment to each other, but he had wanted her to wear his ring and share his name. And he wants more children with her. He’s known that since he held Ava in his arms that first time. It had felt like magic from the moment Nat placed the baby on Malia’s chest, and why wouldn’t he want to experience more of that magic for her. And then, in the weeks that followed, he had fallen in love with being a dad, but even more in love with watching Malia be a mom. Ava was truly the best thing he had ever done in his life. He couldn’t help but want more.

Malia doesn’t hesitate before telling him that she wants more, and he feels himself let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Of course, she would want more children, he realizes as soon as she’s answered. He’s not sure there’s anything in the world she loves like she does Ava.

“Absolutely,” he tells her without hesitation, too, when she turns the question on him. “I want to marry you first. And Ava needs to be older. But I’ve wanted more since she was born.”

He straightens as he reaches for another slice of pizza before raising a brow in her direction. “A lot more, huh?” Nevermind that he had told her he wanted ten more while they were still in the delivery room. Having a newborn had lowered that number for him, but hearing her say a lot more doesn’t leave his chest feeling tight like it may have before he became a father. “Guess we will need a bigger house.”

[malia]

She thinks she might love him more in that moment than she ever has before. Not that she didn’t already love him fiercely, but just hearing him say that. Talking about their future and their wedding and….maybe a future house. It all just kind of overwhelms her in that moment. She listens to him speak, dropping her pizza crust so she can stand up from her seat and walk over to his side. She rests her forearms on his shoulders, leaning down to press a soft, sweet kiss against his lips. He tastes like pizza and she laughs lightly. “I guess we will,” She agrees. “But not right now.” He rests his hand on her lower back, one sliding down to her backside so he has leverage to pull her closer. They share one more kiss, her tongue barely brushing his, before they hear his phone alarm go off one more time.

Their lips part with a smack and she looks down at him expectantly. It was the real moment of truth now. Though she doesn’t really doubt the validity of the first tests results.

This time, she reaches for his hand and leads them back to the bathroom. She’s the one to pick up the test and look at the results, smiling when she looks at him. “Not pregnant,” She tells him easily.

This scare was over. There wouldn’t be another baby when Ava was still a baby. They hadn’t complicated things any more. They could get married before she was pregnant again and Ava could get a little older. But there were going to be more babies, and even though this had really freaked her out, she is really looking forward to that day whenever it comes.

As if she can read their minds, or sense their emotions again, Ava begins to whimper softly from her bassinet. She leans in to kiss his cheek, tossing the test into the trash, just like they would put this entire scare behind them. “I’ll get her.”

[stiles]

If only Noah could see them now. Talking about a wedding and more kids and a bigger house, someday in the future. But in all honesty, Stiles isn’t thinking about his dad as she rounds the island, coming to stand before him. “Definitely not now,” he murmurs against her lips right before she kisses him. His hand comes to rest on her backside, pulling her closer until she’s standing between his legs and her front is pressed against him. He’s wanted to hold her like this, to be this close to her, for most of the night. She had just seemed so anxious and so small, so unlike the Malia he was used to. His only solution had been to hold her. And now, he wants this physical connection. He kisses her again, moaning softly when her tongue brushes against his own.

And then his alarm goes off.

And this is why they had to stop for pregnancy tests on the way home.

Stiles lets her take his hand and lead him back to the bathroom. He doesn’t feel like he’s going to throw up this time, but there’s still a nervous flutter in the pit of his stomach as she studies the test, right up until the moment when she smiles. “Congratulations,” he tells her teasingly, holding his hand up for a high five. She returns it before he pulls her into his arms again, kissing the top of her head. But before either of them can say anything else, Ava fusses in the next room. He nods as Malia says she’ll get the baby. “I’ll clean this up,” he says, gesturing at the mess they’ve left of tests.

He takes care of everything she used, throwing all of it away, and then puts the rest of the tests in the cabinet below the sink for later use. The two boxes of condoms he grabs from where she left them in the bag, now sitting in the sink, and brings them with him back into the bedroom. Malia is laying on her side in their bed, her shirt discarded somewhere while Ava nurses. It’s a familiar sight now, both girls in bed like this, but it’s one he doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of. And is probably a reason to add to the list of reasons why he wants to do this again with her. Eventually. A long time from now.

Malia lifts her gaze when he walks up to the bed, and he holds up the two boxes of condoms. “No more condoms optional,” he tells her as he opens the drawer in his nightstand and places both boxes there alongside the partially used one. This way, there’s plenty there and no excuses moving forward.

She murmurs her agreement as he flops down on his side of the bed with a sigh. He folds an arm behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. Now that they have their answer, he feels drained from that intense panic from a few hours ago. Well that, and Ava’s sleepless night the night before. But if Ava and Malia are both up, he knows he’ll be up again. His eyes drift over to her again, finding Malia staring down at the baby as she runs her hand gently over the baby’s soft, dark hair. “So Scott’s sleeping with your midwife,” he says, his mind now able to focus on something other than the possibility of another baby.

[malia]

As relieving as it was to see the negative on the second test, and as big of a weight came off their shoulders when they realized there wasn’t going to be another baby right now, it still feels so right when she lifts Ava in to her arms. The baby isn’t angry, not yet, but she’s awake and Malia can tell by the way she roots around against her chest that she’ll be angry soon enough if she doesn’t get fed. “It’s okay my little one,” she coos, lifting her so she can kiss her forehead. She climbs onto the bed with the baby, pulling her shirt off after she lies Ava down. This has become her favorite nursing position, and a lifesaver on the long nights when she ends up feeding her when she’s bone tired. She cups an arm around Ava, pulling her close and cupping her head with her other hand so she can guide her to her breasts. Ava doesn’t need much help latching on anymore and she finds her nipple almost immediately. She doesn’t close her little eyes though, drinking her fill and watching her hand as she moves her fingers against Malia’s skin.

She watches as Stiles comes into the room, climbing onto the bed beside them and tossing his hands behind his head. She can sense his relief, almost feel it, and again she thinks about how glad she is that the tests were negative. And he shows her all the condoms he bought, giving them no excuse for forgetting. She keeps her eye on exactly where he tucks them there in the nightstand on his side of the bed. He settles in and she focuses on Ava again. She leans down for one more kiss, letting her hands linger on the baby’s head, stroking her impossibly soft hair. She smells sweet, familiar. Last night had been bath night and she can still smell the hint of the lavender baby wash they’ve been using to help calm her down before bed.

She’s lost in the baby when she hears Stiles speak again but his words immediately draw her attention. She looks up at him, as if the entire evening just comes flooding back to her. She really thinks about it for the first time without the weight of a possible second pregnancy clouding her thoughts and her judgement. “It’s good for him,” she says. “He’s been lonely. She’ll be a good mate.” She really did like Nat. And she does kind of feel like they know her well enough to know that she could potentially be a really good match for Scott. She did deliver their baby after all, and the fact that Scott had recommended her means that maybe he’d been thinking about her a lot more than either of them had realized for a lot longer than anyone knew. “I wonder when it started?”

[stiles]

“Okay. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Stiles scoffs when Malia says Nat would make a good mate for Scott. But his heart is busy swelling at her mention of Scott’s loneliness. In the years that have passed since her return to her human body, she’s gotten better with feelings and emotions. Good enough to recognize Scott’s loneliness. Empathetic enough to want him to have someone to make him feel less lonely. She’s become a part of his family in a way that felt permanent long before he slid that ring onto her finger, but it still doesn’t stop amazing him every time he feels that sense of belonging she’s cultivated for herself.

At her question, he turns onto his side, propping his head up with his hand. “Scott said it started before Ava was born,” Stiles tells her incredulously. “Deaton started some kind of free clinic, and they both started volunteering.”

It’s fitting that Scott would be doing something altruistic when he got to know Nat better. And Nat.. Stiles isn’t sure he knows her well enough to know if it’s as in character for her. Their relationship has been more tenuous up until this point, but he hadn’t forgotten that moment when she told him he was a good partner, or the way she had been warmer and more inviting when he came with Malia to her six week postpartum check-up. Even when she had seemed to hate his humanity, he had still trusted her completely with Malia and Ava’s care. So yeah, she probably is a good mate for Scott after all.

“It’s still weird, though,” he murmurs as his eyes go back to the ceiling. “I mean, she’s your midwife.” Malia makes a noncommittal sound beside him that’s punctuated by the smack of Ava’s lips breaking their latch. He looks over to find her sitting up, bringing the baby to her shoulder to burp her. And then she’ll flip over, trying to get Ava to take milk from her other breast to even out the pressure before the baby hopefully drifts back to sleep. “I’ll grab her pjs,” he tells Malia as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. “Hopefully we all have a better night tonight.”

She groans at the memory of the night before, and he winces in sympathy. Still, he tries to stay hopeful as he goes down the hall to the nursery to grab a sleeper and a diaper. His phone buzzes halfway there, and he pulls it out to find a text from Scott, apologizing for the surprise. There’s a sinking feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach at the realization that Scott thinks he’s to blame for their odd behavior. Stiles silently promises himself that he’ll fill in his best friend later. For now, he texts We love Nat. Glad she was there. and then, for good measure, adds, Learn from us and be safe. He pockets it again before grabbing Ava’s things and heading back to their bedroom where he knows both girls will still be curled up on their bed. Where he can rest easy knowing that at least for now, it’ll stay just the three of them.