watch you grow in pictures

[stiles]

It started a week ago on a normal Tuesday night. Ava had started sleeping for longer stretches at a time, so instead of both collapsing into bed as soon as she was down for the night, they had put her to bed and then settled in the living room together. One of his hands had massaged the sole of her foot while the other scrolled social media, catching snapshots of the lives of the people he had known in high school and college. It was as he scrolled past a photo of his cousin’s one year old, complete with a tiny flower crown and a smash cake, that he had looked over at his fiancee and said, Y’know, we don’t have any pictures of Ava. Malia’s brow furrowed as she looked away from whatever reality TV show she was currently binging to point out that they had tons of pictures of Ava.

But none of them were professional pictures, he had explained.

And then he realized that they didn’t have any pictures of them or pictures of their small family. Not the posed kind that filled his Instagram feed and the frames on his coworkers’ desks. He had assumed it was something they would do when Ava was born, but then Malia had acted like it was crazy to pose their newborn for photos, and she had cried more in that first week of Ava’s life than she had in the decade he had known her, so he hadn’t pushed the issue. There had been a photographer at the hospital, too, but Malia hadn’t wanted anyone in the room so close to her brand new baby, and he hadn’t pressed her then either.

But this time, he can’t let the idea go. Not with Lydia asking about Save the Dates for their wedding and his dad saying he wants a photo of Ava for the gallery wall Melissa has been planning for the foyer. And that’s how they end up in the preserve on a Saturday afternoon marking Ava’s half birthday.

By some stroke of luck, it turns out that Braden’s secret talent is photography. (Photographer had been a good cover for bounty hunter traveling across the country.) But even with a familiar face behind the camera, Malia has felt tense all morning. She looks beautiful, her hair spilling down the back of the denim dress he hadn’t even known she owned, and just the lightest touch of makeup that Braden had talked her into. Her arms have stayed folded across her chest as she lingers in the background, like she’s suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin after months spent seeming completely at home in this new life.

So Stiles is the one beside Braden, crouching down before Ava. She’s in a tiny white dress with a yellow bow wrapped around her head. She sits on a blanket, showing off her newest talent of sitting up on her own. “C’mon, Aves!” he calls to her, shaking the stuffed puppy with a rattle in its belly that he holds in his hand. “Look at the puppy!” But the baby stares down at the blanket instead, her tiny hand trying to grab one of the flowers printed there. Stiles looks over his shoulder to where Malia lingers a few feet away. “Wanna help?” he asks, holding his breath as he waits for her reply.

[malia]

She would never do this.

Not in a million years.

And yet, here she is, doing it. So she has to revise that train of thought to; “She would never do this for anyone but him…”

For him, she would do anything. Including dress up in an outfit that feels uncomfortable, and put on make up, and dress their baby up in a frilly little dress with a bow on her head, and pose for pictures that really didn’t represent anything that actually happened in real life. Real life was messy, and busy, and crazy, and confusing, and beautiful. This seemed staged and fake and unrealistic. And as she stands there with her arms crossed over her chest, she wonders why she agreed to this in the first place. It’s not Braeden, she’s great. Ava loves her, and she’s really good at getting the baby to smile. And she’s also really good at dealing with Malia. She’s one of the few women she’s ever met in her life who actually seems to get her, even when she seems like she’s being a bitch. At least that’s what Stiles had reminded her of when they were on their way to the preserve that morning.

And it’s not the scenery. She loves the preserve. It was her home for years, and bring Ava here makes her feel things that she can’t really explain. And it’s not the goofy way that Stiles is trying to get her to laugh of smile right now even though she’s much more entertained by the blanket underneath her than anything her father is doing. She’s not sure what it is. There were just certain human things, things like photoshoots, that she would never really understand. But she doesn’t want to be this way. She doesn’t want to ruin the entire day. And contrary to popular belief, she doesn’t want their pictures to turn out bad because of her. They’d gotten ready and they’d come all this way, she doesn’t want to be the one to ruin the results of the day.

But she also doesn’t want to kneel in front of their baby and make stupid faces and try to get her to smile when she’s clearly preoccupied with something else. So when she hears Stiles ask for her help, she furrows her brow and speaks before she can stop herself. “She’s not going to smile if she doesn’t want to,” She says with a huff. But Stiles doesn’t seem phased by her short response and she drops her arms and comes to his side, kneeling down with him. She knows one thing that always makes the baby smile. A song that she sings, usually only when they’re alone. She glances at Braeden, feeling stupid, but then she remembers why they’re doing this. It’s for Stiles and she really wants this to work out for him. So she starts to sing the song, reaching for Ava’s hand so she stops focusing on the blanket. She has a terrible voice, and she’s just trying to pretend like Braeden isn’t right there watching her, but sure enough, Ava looks right at her…her eyes glittering with amusement as she shakes her arms in excitement and smiles. A big smile with a laugh. And instead of feeling frustrated with the situation, Malia feels kind of proud.

[stiles]

Stiles knows Malia's uncomfortable from the way she keeps her distance. At any other time, it would take the jaws of life to separate her from her baby, especially when Ava needs something. But now, Malia stays a few feet away like she's a bystander instead of the baby's mother. And when she opens her mouth, her words are pointed.

Stiles closes his eyes and sighs to keep from saying the unproductive things on the tip of his tongue: You agreed to this. You said it would be good to have pictures. We made Braden come all the way out here for you to be stubborn. We're [paying[/i] Braden to come all the way out here for you to be stubborn.[/i] But none of those things will get him anywhere, not if she's decided to dig her heels in. So he opens his eyes again, plastering that same smile on his face. "C'mon, Aves," he tries again. "Where's the puppy? You love the puppy!"

He feels Malia before he notices her next to him. The baby has become his main focus, even as she ignores him like she's cognitively aware of what she's doing and choosing to be stubborn like her mother. But then Malia is beside him, the scent of her shampoo settling over him as she drops to her knees in the grass, and his heart swells immediately. Even before she starts singing that song. The song that the baby has been obsessed with seemingly since they brought her home. Ava's little eyes snap up at the sound of her mother's voice, forgetting all about the blanket. Her eyes light up as soon as she sees Malia, and she gurgles, a sound that will become a laugh in a few weeks, but for now is his biggest source of entertainment. He snorts, Ava squeals, and Braden snaps a series of lightning quick photos.

Stiles reaches blindly for Malia's hand as he keeps his eyes on Ava. The baby is delighted now, basking in her mother's attention and forgetting all about Braden and the camera. He gives Malia's hand a squeeze, puling his eyes away from the baby long enough to glance at his fiancee. "Thank you," he says softly. It's not just for making the baby smile, but for agreeing to do this in the first place. For repeatedly venturing outside her comfort zone for his own needs. Despite her resistance, she returns the smile, albeit small and hesitant. And he momentarily forgets all about the baby as he leans in to press a kiss to her cheek.

The snap of the camera sounds closer suddenly, and Stiles pulls away to find Braden has the camera aimed at them. "Why don't you two jump in there with her?" Braden says as she straightens from the squat she's been holding. "We'll get some of the whole family." Stiles nods as he straightens, too, but Malia stays on her knees. If he could scent her emotions, he's sure he'd be choking on the scent of her resistance. He offers her a smile as he holds out his hand. "C'mon," he says. "The sooner we do this, the sooner we can head home." He's surprised when she takes his hand without complaint, letting him help to her feet. As soon as she's standing, he slings an arm around her waist, pulling her close to his side. He leans in to press a kiss to her temple, then keeps his lips there. "And," he murmurs against her skin. "The sooner I can thank you for doing this."

[malia]

 Before she even realizes what’s happening, she’s lost in the moment. That familiar sound of Ava’s happy gurgles, the smile on her face, the way that her eyes sparkle just like Stiles do when he’s amused. She loves her so much, and she loves him so much, and that’s is why she’ll always find a way to make herself do these things for them. For her family. She laughs lightly as Stiles does, continuing to sing the song in a loop as Braeden snaps her photos. And when Stiles pulls her attention away from the baby and presses a soft kiss to her cheek, she still gets those same familiar butterflies that she’s gotten since the first time he touched her all those years ago.

He doesn’t have to thank her, but he doesn’t. And she offers him a smile in return, not even really noticing as Braeden snaps some photos of them in the intimate moment of the kiss.

But when Braeden speaks and suggests that they get in the frame with Ava so she can take some pictures of them all together, she remembers that she really didn’t want to do this. That she really doesn’t like having her picture taken and posing and doing all of these things that they’re currently in the middle of doing. So she pretends she doesn’t hear even as Stiles hops up, focusing on Ava as the baby wobbles unsteadily in her sitting position. She’s still not completely steady all the time, and she has a tendency to tip right over. But she doesn’t resist as Stiles reaches for her hand and pulls her up. He was right after all. The sooner they did this, and the less resistance she put up, the sooner it would be over. Then they’d both have what they wanted.

And that’s before he pulls her closer, his arm around her waist, his breath warm against her ear after he presses a soft kiss to her temple. Her heart skips a beat, the warm feeling of desire filling her stomach as she smiles. It’s a real smile that time. He doesn’t have to spell the promise out to her, she can tell what he means just by the tone of his voice. And she follows him as they settle on the blanket beside Ava. Braeden positions them where she wants them to be, and they take turns holding the baby. And she even puts on her best smile when Braeden tells Stiles to get up so she can take pictures of Malia and Ava together. Though she’s relieved when she gets to be the one stepping out of the camera’s view when it’s Stiles turn to get some pictures with the baby.

Then they do some standing, some with Stiles tossing Ava just a little over his head, some with Malia holding the baby close, pressing her forehead to Ava’s with her eyes closed. She almost…almost forgets just how much she hadn’t wanted to do this.

[stiles]

Stiles doesn’t realize just how much he wants these photos until they’re in it. For all her stubborn resistance before, Malia is a willing participant when they join Ava on the blanket. Ava reaches for her immediately, almost toppling over in her efforts to reach her mother, and Stiles doesn’t know it now, but it’ll be a picture he keeps on his desk for years to come. He had Malia laughing, the baby’s face lighting up as she holds her arms up to her mother. And Braeden captures it perfectly.

He had known that Braeden was the only choice if he wanted Malia to feel comfortable, but it’s another thing entirely to watch her work. The camera is a constant flutter of snaps as she moves around them, trying to capture the split seconds when Ava is engaged and smiling and looking at the camera. She stops periodically to pose them again: his arm around Malia’s shoulders. The baby laying against Malia’s chest. The two of them leaning in to kiss her chubby cheeks. At some point, Braeden stops snapping photos long enough to grab his attention. ”Okay, Stiles. Let me get some of just the girls,” she says. He moves away from the blanket and spends the next few minutes falling more in love with Malia than he had thought possible. But there’s something about watching her with Ava when her only task is to make the baby smile. And he’s not sure he’s every felt luckier.

Ten minutes later, they switch. There’s a split second when Ava squawks as she reaches for Malia’s sleeve, but then it’s like she realizes who has her. Her face lights up as she looks to Stiles, kicking her tiny legs in her excitement. He lets Braeden coach him through kissing the top of her tiny head, cradling her against his chest, tossing her gently into the air. Somewhere behind the camera, Malia laughs, and his heart swells, certain he’s never felt more grateful for the person she’s become than he does right now.

”Okay,” Braeden says with a soft sigh as she gets back up to her feet a few minutes later. ”Let’s get you two some engagement photos.” A rational part of Stiles’s brain knows that it’s probably too late for that, now that they’re just two months away from their wedding, but selfishly, he wants those photos. He ignores that tiny, rational voice as he presses a kiss to Ava’s head before strapping her into her stroller. “Now, I get some time with Mama,” he tells her, kissing her one more time before he pulls away.

When he tuns back around, though, Malia is a few feet away, arms crossed over her chest again. It’s like Ava was the secret to unlocking her comfort zone, and now that the baby is on the outskirts, Malia has forgotten how to do this. He bites his lip as he moves closer to her, wrapping an arm around her face as he comes to stand in front of her. “What?” he asks her gently, aware of the fact that Braeden is already snapping photos, even though Malia is stiff in his arms, her face expressionless. “Is this a reflection of how much you want to marry me?”

[malia]

Engagement photos? That’s when she stops in her tracks, the easy demeanor of taking photos with her little family fading away. First of all, what does that even mean? They were already engaged. She was wearing her ring. It wasn’t like Braeden could go back in time and take pictures of that moment. And second, she’d been okay when the focus had mostly been Ava. It was easy when the focus was mostly Ava. Sure, they had been there in the pictures, but Ava was the star of the pictures. They were just kind of like…life-sized props really. And to Malia, that was perfectly fine. But this sounds like something that would make her the main subject, front and center. Just her and Stiles…and the camera.

So as Stiles comes back to her side, easily wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, she completely forgets how to be a normal human again. She can hear the snaps of the shutter on Braeden’s camera, but the smirk on Stiles’s face as he jokes with her doesn’t melt her heart in the way that it usually does. She all of the sudden feels like a thousand eyes are staring at her even though they’re completely alone. She doesn’t mean to make him feel like she doesn’t want to be with him, or getting ready to marry him. She very much wants those things. But the camera focusing on her puts her on display in a way that she’s never really been comfortable with. Her eyes dart back and forth between the baby, the camera, and Stiles and her hair stands on end and she knows she’s being ridiculous and she can’t really help it.

Hey, it’s okay…we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Stiles assures her. And that kind of ends up being the thing that snaps her out of it. Because she WANTS to do this. She wants to do it for him, and she’d promised she would. And that’s more important to her than anything else. And she has no idea that one day she’ll look back on these pictures and they’ll be some of the most precious things that she owns. So she closes her eyes, curses herself silently, and takes a deep breath. When she opens her eyes again, she offers him a smile. “No, I want to,” she tells him honestly.

So she leans in and presses a kiss to his lips and tries to relax her stiff posture and turns to Braeden waiting for some kind of instructions about what exactly it is that they’re supposed to be doing.

[stiles]

His joke was meant to break the tension, to make her laugh, but immediately, Stiles knows it didn't work. Malia still looks like an animal caught in the trap as her eyes dart from his to the camera to the baby, who's content in her stroller as she plays with a tiny stuffed rattle. It's fear that he sees on Malia's face, and his stomach sinks with the realization. Like so many other things, this is a human experience she can't thrive in. And not for the first time, he wonders if the entirety of their impending marriage is a mistake. Not the idea of being wholeheartedly committed to each other, but the humanness of it all. The wedding ceremony, the vows, the legal document binding them to one another. Maybe the life he thought he was building for her has been four walls of a cage instead.

"Hey," he says gently, the smile falling from his face. Her wide eyes dart back to his at the sound of his voice, and they flash a brilliant blue. The knot in his stomach pulls tighter. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." Something shifts in her expression then. Her eyes open a little wider, and then she shakes her head. When the corners of her mouth lift into a smile, it doesn't reach her eyes. But she insists that she wants to do this before leaning in to kiss him. His hands stay planted on her hips, but it's a quick kiss, one Braeden barely snaps a picture of before Malia pulls away, giving Braeden her full attention.

Braeden's smile is warm but tentative, like she, too, can feel that something is off. She takes a step back, tilting her head to the side as she considers where to place them. But in just those few seconds, Stiles feels Malia tense in his arms.

"Why don't you -" Braeden starts at the same time Stiles wraps his arm a little more tightly around Malia's waist.

"Hey. C'mere," he says, pressing a hand to her cheek to force her gaze to meet his. He leans in to kiss her again, this time softer and slower. The shutter of Braeden's camera snaps in a flurry of activity again, and Malia grows tenser, but Stiles rubs his thumb across her cheekbone, parting her lips gently with his tongue. And then he feels her unravel. That tension leaves her as her fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt. She loses herself to that kiss, seeming to forget that they're not alone there in the clearing. Stiles is the one to pull away first, keeping his forehead against hers. "I love you," he murmurs, moving his thumb in that same arch across her cheekbone. "And I love you so much for doing this for me."

Her smile still doesn't reach her eyes, but it comes closer this time. They linger like that for a minute, until Malia catches Braeden out of the corner of her eye again, and that smile wavers. And it's all Stiles needs to pull away. "I think we're good," he tells Braeden, lacing his fingers through Malia's and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Who doesn't know we're getting married at this point?" he says, flashing Malia a crooked smile. "And if Ava came first, why can't she be in our engagement photos, too?"

[malia]

It’s that second kiss that makes her really give in. The kiss that he initiates that makes her kind of forget where they are, or what they’re actually doing, or that somebody else is standing there snapping photos of this moment. When he kisses her softly, slowly, pulling her closer and letting his tongue find hers…all she can think about is him and her, there in the preserve with their baby. She leans into him, her hands turning into fists as she lets her fingers cling to his shirt. She closes her eyes as he rests his forehead against hers, and she breathes, really breathes. “I love you too,” she murmurs, truly mean it. Honestly, who else would she do something like this for?

Absolutely nobody besides him and the baby currently sitting contentedly in her stroller.

And she’s even more sure of that when Stiles takes her hand in his, lacing their fingers together, and tells Braeden that they’re good. She would have kept going if he’d wanted to, but she’s relieved that he thinks that they’ve got enough…even if he doesn’t really believe it. Her smile is genuine and it does go all the way to her eyes this time as he jokes with her. Considering she hasn’t even really known that engagement photos were a thing, she thinks what he says makes sense. She leans in to kiss him again, truly believing that nobody will ever understand her the way that he does and knowing that she will never love anybody the way that she loves him.

Braeden agrees, walking over to snap a few candid photos of Ava in her stroller before she begins to pack up all of her gear. There isn’t much considering she really just kind of does this as a hobby. There’s her tripod and some lights, even though the suns out, and a few extra lenses. And as she gets her things together, Stiles moves to begin to pack up the blanket that they’d brought and all of the things that had come along with them. She looks up at the sky. It’s a beautiful late afternoon, heading towards evening. And the air is fresh and it feels so good to be here in the preserve with her little family.

She moves to his side just as he’s getting ready to lift up the blanket and put it away. She reaches for his arm, drawing his attention back to her. “Maybe we could stay here for a little while?” She suggests.

[stiles]

He feels grateful for Braeden when she simply nods and begins packing up her equipment. It’s one of the many benefits of having a pack. No one doesn’t know Malia’s story. There’s no worry that someone won’t be patient with her or will take offense to something she does or doesn’t do. It’s the way he wishes the whole world saw her. The way he wishes she could always exist in the world.

Malia presses a kiss to his lips in a silent kind of things, and he squeezes her backside gently before pulling away. As Braeden finishes packing up her camera and the few toys she had brought to distract Ava, Stiles turns his attention to the things they had brought for Ava. There’s a discarded bottle from when they first arrived and an array of toys that light up and sing. All part of the production that was trying to get a six month old to smile and look at the camera. “It’s going to be beautiful out here,” Braeden says, catching him off guard as she breaks the silence. “For the wedding.”

Stiles looks over to find her standing still, hands on her hips, surveying the clearing. He straightens as he does the same, taking it in. The plans have occupied most of their weekends since they agreed to a May date, and each time they’ve committed to something, he’s tried to picture it here. The white tables and chairs, the fairy lights strung around the lowest trees, the flowers Malia had surprisingly been the most excited about. But now, he also pictures Malia in the middle of all of that, frozen in the same way she was under the focus of the camera’s lens. Malia out of her element. Malia trying to fit in to the mold he’s chosen for her.

“Yeah, it will be,” he agrees, but his eyes still stare out at the preserve, picturing Malia like a deer in the headlights. It takes Braeden’s goodbye to snap him out of it as he thanks her again and she agrees to send him a preview later tonight. It’s when he reaches for the blanket on the ground that Malia stops him, eyes bright again now that the camera is packed away. Her request is simple in a moment when he would give her everything, so he’s quick to nod. “Of course. We can stay as long as you want.”

It’s not quite true - the baby will need a bath and her bedtime routine - but for now, there’s nowhere else they need to be. Malia presses another kiss to his lips before she moves to the stroller, reaching for the baby. Stiles drops down on the blanket with a sigh, the exhaustion of the long day he worked before these photos hitting him all at once as he settles there. Malia joins him a second later, already pulling one of the straps of her dress down to expose her breast for the baby. He watches to make sure that she doesn’t need help with her dress before laying down, an arm thrown over his eyes. It’s peaceful and quiet, and it should be easy enough to lose himself in the calm of the preserve, the peace of having Malia and the baby right there beside him. But instead, he sees her again behind his closed eyes, frozen, a shell of herself. When he opens his eyes again, she’s the exact opposite beside him, a soft smile on her lips as she gazes down at the baby in his arms. But it’s not enough to keep him from asking, “Do you still want to get married out here?”

[malia]

It’s not until they’re laying there on the blanket with the baby that she finally lets herself relax. She wishes she understood herself better honestly. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to do this…she had, for Stiles. But then when it came down to it, she feels like she would have been more natural and comfortable fighting off a lion for him instead of standing still in front of a camera and not looking like some kind of freak of nature. It’s the kind of thoughts that make her realize that she’ll never really be human. But it’s also the kind of thoughts that pop into her brain and don’t really linger enough to make her feel bad BECAUSE she’ll never really be human…at least not like most other human women.

She waits for him to settle down on the blanket beside her before she instinctively pulls the strap down on her dress and pulls Ava close so she can nurse her. It was time, and she can feel it, and ever since the incident with her infection…she isn’t keen on the idea of waiting until it gets uncomfortable. Just the thought of that happening again is enough to make her stomach turn. She coos softly at Ava as she settles in to nurse, her eyes wide as she pats Malia’s skin with her tiny hand. She was already getting so big, and for the first time of many, Malia wonders how the time seems to be passing so quickly. She doesn’t want these times to end. She pulls the bow from Ava’s head, shocked that the baby hadn’t pulled it off a long time ago. But she’d been such a good girl for the photos, much better than Malia herself had been if she was being honest.

She looks over at Stiles as he tosses a hand behind his head, closing his eyes and pulling up a strand of grass and popping in his mouth before quickly making a face and pulling it out and tossing it aside. She smiles, the entire act is just so very him.

His question takes her by surprise, and if there’s some kind of deeper meaning behind it, or if he’s really trying to ask her something else, she doesn’t pick up on that. She looks around at the familiar clearing, recognizing places that she’d tread many times before when she had four legs and fur coat. And other places that have become familiar to her since she’d figured out how to be human again. There are so many memories in this place, good and bad. Where else would she want to get married? “Yeah,” She tells him nonchalantly. “I like it here.”

[stiles]

Stiles watches Malia closely, waiting to see if there’s any reaction to even just the word wedding. And then his mind is racing, combing through every time they’ve talked about the wedding to try to determine if she’s ever had a negative reaction the way she did this afternoon. The first time had been in the car on the way home from the funeral weekend, and they had both been mostly giddy then, through the hardest part of the weekend and newly engaged. The night at his dad’s that ended in a pregnancy scare didn’t count because they were both basketcases. And every moment of every weekend they had spent making decisions about their wedding seemed free of her fears. No times when she froze or resisted beyond an eye roll when someone suggested something she was strongly against.

And now, that peaceful calm doesn’t break as she lifts her eyes to look at him, then gazes around the preserve. The same brightness is still there in her eyes. That same soft smile graces her lips, even before she looks back down to the baby and pulls her a little closer.

Her eyes meet his again after she’s adjusted Ava against her breast, and he sighs as he realizes she misunderstood the question. He knows she loves it here. His dream is to someday give her a permanent home here, she loves it so much. But his worry isn’t about the location. “I mean the whole wedding,” he says, waving his hand above his head to encompass the idea. “Do you really want to get married?”

At his question, her eyes flash over to his, and he realizes he’s messing this up. “I don’t mean do you want to get married,” he says quickly as he sits up again. Her concern is still on her face as he sits beside her, and he reaches for her hand out of habit. “We’re going to get married.” He says it like it’s final, no longer up for discussion. But there’s never been another decision he’s been more sure of than marrying her, and he can sense her sureness, too. “I mean the wedding,” he finally clarifies. “We don’t have to do the whole wedding. We could just go to the courthouse. Or get married in the backyard. It doesn't have to be a big thing.”

[malia]

His sigh of frustration breaks through the soft sound of the baby nursing. Malia’s attention is totally pulled back to him now as she watches him toss his arm up, waving his hand around as he stresses he’s not talking about the location. But the thing he says next confuses her even more. Does she really want to get married? He’d asked her and she’d said yes. She wouldn’t have said yes if she didn’t really want to get married.

She furrows her brow as she looks at him, trying to sniff out some kind of emotion that she might be able to scent since she’s not really having much luck seeing or hearing what he’s really asking her. But before she can give him that obvious answer, that yes, of course she really wants to get married…he’s talking again and she doesn’t think he even stops to take a breath between sentences. She watches as he sits up, completely focused on her as he tries to correct what he’s just said and change it to something else. She can’t help but laugh lightly as he fumbles with his words. It’s just so very him.

His hand is warm when he takes hers, pulling it over into his lap as her other arm holds the baby close. She’s still wide awake, nursing contentedly as she gazes at her hand against Malia’s skin. It’s like a lightbulb flashes over her head when she finally realizes just what it is that he’s asking her. It took him a long time to get there, but it finally comes out.

Does she really want the wedding. The big ceremony, with lots of eyes and lots of tradition and lots of things she doesn’t necessarily thrive with or particularly like. But none of that stuff seems to matter. She does want the wedding. She wants it because sometimes it’s nice to just pretend to be human, even if it’s just for a little while. Sometimes it’s nice to pretend to be a normal girl, even if it’s just for a little while. And she loves him, desperately. And she wants the world to know that. Not just because she wants to stake her claim on him, but because she’s proud. She wants to make that commitment to him, the way that humans are supposed to do it. Sure, she’s already wearing a ring, but she knows that he wants the wedding.

And now that they’re getting closer, she kind of does too. She can already picture in her mind. Sure, she might be uncomfortable, and she might be nervous and a little on edge when the time comes. But she wants the wedding, and she wants the ceremony, and she wants it here and with him. There’s no doubt in her mind about that.

She shakes her head as he continues to talk, finally speaking up when he’s said everything he’s been trying to say. “I want the wedding,” She tells him, squeezing his hand for an extra measure of certainty. “I want to marry you like a normal person. And I want to do it here, and with our friends. I just wish we could do it now.”

[stiles]

Malia's voice is soft but sure when she responds, letting him know she wants the wedding. There's a comfort in knowing that it hasn't been him pressuring her. Or that it's not just her need to do what he wants. Stiles still has to bite his tongue from interrupting when she says she wants to marry him like a normal person. It's on the tip of his tongue to push back, to argue that this version of her is the only version he's interested in marrying. But he knows better than to interrupt her. Especially when the conversation requires a certain level of vulnerability. So he squeezes her hand in return instead before leaning up to kiss her.

He pulls away with a scoff, looking out at the preserve again. "My dad might kill us," he muses. "After all of the time we spent planning this." In reality, Noah Stilinski would probably only be upset to have missed that moment when they were married. But Stiles wants to marry her right now just as much as he wants their meticulously planned ceremony. He gazes out at the clearing, imagining it two months from then, filled with their friends and family. For a long minute, he waits for the fear to settle in. For his chest to feel tight at the thought of marrying her or his heart to speed up at the thought of this being forever. But instead, his calm never shifts. Or if it does, it's to that excited sense of anticipation. Of knowing their future together hasn't even really started.

It's not until the sun is starting to set that Malia asks if he's ready to head home. He doesn't point out that she was the one who had wanted to stay, only takes the baby so Malia can fix her dress and then settle her back into the stroller.. The parking lot is quiet when they make their way back, no longer as packed as it had been in the middle of the afternoon. And the drive home is the same, no longer fighting the traffic they had on the way out here. It's quiet enough that Ava's babbling stops at some point, and when Stiles glances in the rearview mirror, she's fast asleep.

He smiles to himself as he glances back there before looking back over at Malia. Her own eyes are closed, her head back against the headrest, and he's struck by how beautiful she looks in that moment. Not because of the makeup or the dress or any of the other things outside of her norm, but because of how peaceful she seems. It's not until he slows and pulls into the driveway that she opens her eyes, blinking as she sits up again. Her gaze seems to focus when she finally looks over at him, and he settles a gentle hand on her thigh. "Ava's asleep," he tells her. "I don't know if she even made it out of the preserve."

[malia]

It doesn’t take them long to get everything loaded back up in the car. Stiles takes care of most of it as she focuses on getting her dress back in place and then the baby strapped safely into her carrier where it rests in the car seat. The uncomfortable feeling that had followed her from the photo session is long forgotten and she just feels peaceful. She feels really happy.

She climbs into the front seat and takes one last look at the preserve behind them as they pull off toward home. They don’t say much as the soft sound of the radio fills the car accompanied by the sounds of Ava in the back. It’s become something she loves, the sound of their baby babbling, talking to herself in a language that only she can really understand. To Malia, it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard. She closes her eyes, feeling a little tired from being “on” for the photos. It seems like a stupid reason to be tired, so she doesn’t really want to say anything about it.

She doesn’t fall asleep, but she feels like she could have if she would have let herself.

Ava is quiet by the time they pull into the driveway and she opens her eyes and looks over at him as they come to a stop. She glances back when he tells her that Ava is sleeping, a fact that she could have guessed from the easy silence that had started about 5 minutes ago. She smiles as she watches their daughter. She looks so peaceful, so sweet, and so perfect. But she pulls her attention away from the baby and back to Stiles, leaning over the center console so she can press a kiss to his lips. It’s not a soft kiss, and definitely not an innocent kiss, and she lets her hand move along his upper thigh as she grins against his lips.

“Good, then we can have some time to ourselves when we get inside,” she says playfully. “You made a promise.” He laughs against her lips and they share one more kiss before they climb out of the car. She’s careful not to wake Ava as she carries her inside and Stiles takes care of everything else they’d brought with them. She gets Ava changed and settled and Stiles is waiting for her when she comes back into the bedroom.

He keeps his promise and they make love, stopping only for dinner, until they’re both exhausted. They fall asleep in each other’s arms that night and life seems pretty damn good.